In other words, this:

Is this just a definition because what we really care about is how much the vectors are "pushing" through the surface? Or is it an actual equality?
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$\begingroup$This is just notation: $d\mathbf S = \mathbf n\,dS$. Both sides are computing the flux of $\mathbf F$, i.e., the net amount of $\mathbf F$ pushing outwards across the surface.
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